Merrick's Arrival

Before I had kids, I thought babies' arrival stories were very private to their mommas.  However, after I became pregnant, I discovered that women like to tell their baby arrival stories, myself included, and I love to hear them.  I just got to hear the beautiful story of how one of my closest friend's son made his arrival on Sunday morning, and it reminded me that I have not journaled Merrick's arrival yet like I had Laila's.  I am already starting to forget the details, so I figured I had better get it down.  Any of you who have no desire to know such story are forewarned to stop reading. :)  

As we all know how kids can have similarities but are usually completely different, Merrick's arrival had a few similarities to Laila's arrival but for the most part was totally different.  The whole going into labor part was identical to Laila.  On Sunday night, I was up from midnight to 6:00 a.m. with strong contractions every 10 minutes.  The contractions were enough to bother me and keep me up, but I knew they were not the real deal as I did not need to walk them out to deal with the pain.  I went to bed at 6:30 a.m. on Monday, and after being up all night, I let my firm know that I would be working from home.  

The contractions stopped for the most part.  However, I decided to make a trip into my doctor's office that afternoon just to check things out.  Although I was contracting, they were 10 minutes or so apart, and I guess they needed to be 6 minutes a part as a sign of active labor.  I was not dilated at all, so I figured I might still have a while yet as Merrick was not due for another 10 days.  I had the same experience with Laila with the contractions, but they were in the afternoon, and when I went to the doctor with her the afternoon before she was born, I was dilated to a whopping 1 cm.  

Well, Monday night (or I guess Tuesday morning) at about 2:30 a.m., I rolled over in bed and felt a huge gush.  I rolled back over and felt another big gush.  I was pretty sure my water had broken, so I got up and called Monroe Clinic.  Contractions had not really started yet, so I thought the nurse was going to tell me to stay home.  However, she asked me how long my last labor took, and when I told her 5 hours and 40 minutes, she got real quiet and then said it sounded like my water had broken, and I needed to get to the hospital in the next 2 hours.  

So, I got Chris up and started to get ready to leave.  As we were getting ready, the contractions started, and they were the real deal as I had to walk them out or pause what I was doing to let the contraction pass.  My parents came to pick up Laila, and off Chris and I went to the hospital.  Laila's arrival was similar as the night after my doctor's appointment where I showed little progress, my water started to leak at 2:00 a.m., and we went to the hospital where labor then started on its own.  

The car ride was not the most fun as I deal with pain by walking and moving, so being confined to a car was not my favorite.  Contractions were coming every 4 - 5 minutes, and I was definitely squirming in my seat.  When I got to the hospital, the nurse hooked me up to the non-stress test machine and confirmed I was indeed in labor, and it appeared that my water had broken.  

The nurse wanted to put an IV in me, but I resisted as I HATE IVs, and the plan was to have a totally natural birth like I did with Laila.  Yeah, best made plans.  The nurse had to contact my doctor to make sure the whole no IV thing was fine, and he was fine with it.  So, I continued to move around to walk out the contractions for awhile.  I was struggling though as usually when I am dealing with pain, I can go inside of myself to this zen place to deal with the pain.  I think I was just too worn out as I started the whole labor process exhausted (no sleep the two nights prior and then water broke around 2:30 a.m.), and I just could not get into that zen frame of mind.  I was gripping the table in the room, and the contractions were coming hard and fast.  I usually deal with the pain silently, but I admit I as breathing and moaning out the pain a bit (not screaming though).  Then the extreme heart burn that I had dealt with for a lot of my pregnancy was acting up, so I had to start taking medicine to keep the heart burn in check while I was laboring.  I am not going to paint a picture of strength; I was totally struggling.

I was wondering how I was going to continue through this labor and do the pushing, which is my least favorite part.  I kept asking God how I was going to get through this because I really did not know.  I told Chris that I was going to have the nurse check me, and if I was progressing, I would stick out the labor and not do the epidural.  Chris was trying to be encouraging that I could make it without the epidural, but I was starting to think otherwise.

The nurse checked me and told me that I was at a 6 - 7 cm dilated.  I guess that dilation is considered the transition period where the labor is the hardest, the potential to throw up is more likely, etc.  I decided to keep going as I was making progress.  I honestly do not know how long I labored from that point on as it felt like hours, but the heart burn hurt, I was feeling sick, the contractions were hard and 1 minute a part and or right away, I was sweating, and I just could not get to my zen place.  After I do not know how long, I decided to have the nurse check me again as I was ready to get the epidural if needed.  The same nurse checked me and said I was 5 cm dilated.  What the heck?  How could I go backwards? (I honestly think the nurse was new and inexperienced, although, very nice).  I was done after hearing that; epidural NOW please.  

So, the epidural was ordered.  Now I had to get an IV.  The nurse is trying to get the IV into my arm in between contractions, and she is having a hard time.  She put the needle in, wiggled it around, and could not get a vein.  I get the willies thinking about it.  She tried a couple of times.  Then another nurse comes in to try, and she could not do it either.  I think it took a third nurse and six pokes later for the IV to get in.  I was contracting, sweating, nauseous, feeling like I was going to faint, with horrible heart burn wondering how the heck I was going to survive.  The whole IV thing while I was contracting was probably one of the worse experiences I have had.  I do not care to ever repeat it. 

My good friend the anesthesiologist comes in to give me the epidural.  She was happy, upbeat, and direct, and I thought she was great.  I got the epidural, which was not horrible at all.  The pain from the epidural was just a little pinch and barely anything compared to the contraction pain.  One reason I was scared of an epidural was the thought of losing control of my legs freaked me out.  I guess Monroe gives an epidural where I could still feel my legs, which was great.  I could still move and feel my legs the whole time, but the contraction pain was gone.  It was awesome.  I was so tired, and so happy to be able to take a break from those contractions.  I think I got the epidural around 7:30 a.m.

An ever so lovely picture of me relieved and happy to be taking a break from the contractions. 

I then rested my eyes for a bit, and Chris got some rest too.  The poor guy got home from his MBA class around midnight, and then I woke him up at 2:30 a.m. to go have a baby.   Well, my body was stuck in that 7-8 cm dilation, known as the horrible transition period.  Boy was I happy that I got the epidural now.  My doctor wanted to give me some Pitocin to keep the labor going since I was stuck.  I very much did not want Pitocin, but at that point, I was too tired to really care about much.  There was a nurse change, and I now had a nurse, Amy, that ended up being my favorite nurse of my whole experience with Merrick.  It is always good to have that favorite nurse during the delivery. 

I got about 2ish hours of rest, and I was happy to keep going with the whole resting period as I was not looking forward to the pushing.  I did have to keep taking the heart burn medicine as that was really bothering me.  Well, a baby has to be born somehow, so I became 10 cm dilated and felt some pain and pressure.  I discovered that the epidural took the contraction pain away, but I definitely felt the pushing pain.  

I let everyone know that it was time to push, and the nurse was telling me not to push until the doctor came.  The heart burn was really churning, and I was pretty certain that I would be getting sick.  Chris was flipping out worried that I would have the baby before the doctor came.  Dr. Martin arrived, and I started my first push.  I kept telling myself I just had to get through the pushing and contraction and I would get a break as I remembered from having Laila that the pain subsides in between pushing contractions.  Well, the contraction ended, and the pain did not, so I flipped out on everyone.  They said I did not flip out, but I assure you that I flipped out.

I was flipping out saying it still hurt even though the contraction was over, it was not supposed to hurt at this point, why did it hurt, it did not hurt in between contractions last time, what is going on,  why is there not a break int he pain, etc.  My nurse Amy later told me that I looked at her with a "help me" expression on my face, and she felt horrible as there was nothing she could do.  Well, I was not going to mess around with this pain, so next contraction, I pushed Merrick out and was done thank heavens.  I did not get sick either, which was a huge plus.  The second Merrick was born, the heart burn stopped, which was such a relief.  

What happened right after Laila was born is a little fuzzy for me in my memory, so I really wanted to remember as best as I could this time round.  They put Merrick in a towel and immediately gave him to me.  I started talking to him, and he turned to look for me.  The moment is tattooed on my heart forever, and I will never forget it.  It will be one of the best moments of my life.

Nurse Amy then took Merrick over to the warmer for checking him, weighing him, etc.  Chris was so cute as he wanted to be with Merrick, but he also wanted to be with me for support, so he kept going back and forth. I guess whenever I talked, Merrick would look for me from the little warming cradle.  He has been my momma's boy from the start. :)  

This time round I only had a stage 2 cut (stage 3 with Laila), so I needed some stitching.  Chris and I are talking away with Dr. Martin while Merrick was getting cleaned up and wrapped up and I was getting stitched up.  After about a half hour, Dr. Martin said, so what is this little guy's name.  I asked Chris if our little guy looked like a Merrick, and Chris looked at me and said, "That's all we got for a name."  So Merrick it is.

Merrick was born at 9:53 a.m., so all-in-all, my labor was not that bad at being around 7 1/2 hours long.  Kudos to you women who push for hours and labor for hours.  I am not sure how you do it.  You are true superwomen.  

Despite the pain and the stress, having a baby or seeing your baby for the first time is one of life's best moments.  My heart just fills up thinking about the feelings of holding both my babies for the first time in really looking at them to see what their hair and eyes and nose and little mouth look like.  You wait so long wondering what these little babies will look like when they are born, and it is amazing and such a surprise every time.  I am still in awe of how a little baby with 10 little fingers, 10 little toes, finger nails, hair, eyelashes, etc. was made and carried in my belly.  I have never doubted that God exists, but the experience of growing and having a baby really solidifies God's existence for me. 

We are done having babies, so I am a little sad to never experience this moment again.  Pregnancy is hard, labor is hard, delivery is hard, but it is all worth it in that one minute that you get to hold your baby for the first time and take in all those little features.  I am so blessed to have been able to go through this experience twice.  Little Merrick has completed our family, and I would do the fertility, sometimes hard and uncomfortable pregnancy, and painful labor and delivery all over again if it meant that we could have him.  Merrick is definitely a keeper, even when he wakes up every hour and half some nights.