Happy 4th Birthday Laila!

Happy 4th birthday my sweet sweet Laila,

Four years ago today, you taught me that out of the numerous roles I have in life, my most favorite role is being your momma.  If I had to pick one word to describe you, it would be "sweet."  You are such a sweet little girl, and I frequently get told how sweet you are by so many people who meet you, even strangers.

You are such a little beauty with your blond hair, beautiful blue eyes with thick long eyelashes, and adorable smile with one dimple.  You are just the cutest with your little bob haircut.  Your daddy and I know we are going to have our work cut out for us when you become a teenager.  You make the funniest and cutest facial expressions, and some of our favorites include the big eyes look when you are making a point and the way you open and almost shut your mouth fast when you are really happy.  

You are such a smart little girl and never miss a thing.  Your vocabulary is quite extensive (I like to think it is because of the Fancy Nancy books you and I read together), and I love when you use big words out of context.  My favorite is when you are dismissing something or do not want something, you say, "nevermind."  

There are so many things that you do to melt my heart and make me so proud to be your mom.  For example, I love watch weeks at dance when you stop what you are doing to wave at me numerous times throughout the class.  It also meant the world to me that you wanted to have a Fancy Nancy themed birthday party as Fancy Nancy books are a little thing between you and me.

I keep going back to how sweet you are.  You take such good care of your numerous babies, which you refer to as honeys or sweethearts.  You are very tender with them and make sure that they get fed, burped, and down for naps with lots of blankets.  Sometimes I have babies covered up in towels and blankets all over my house.  Your dolls always look great with the creative outfits you come up with for them from life jackets paired with skirts to shirts with no pants.

  
You are such a busy and creative girl.  You are too busy to watch a whole movie and instead prefer to play and stop to watch your favorite parts, usually when there is singing going on.  Some of your favorite things to do include coloring and snipping.  You could just cut, cut, cut all day.  You have figured out that you can pretty much open anything by cutting it.  You frequently come up with creative things to do, and we love to hear you say "I have a great idea."  You have great ideas daily.

You had a really big year.  You started preschool, and you absolutely love school.  You cannot get enough of school, and you loved it so much, we increased the days you went to school from 2 to 3.  You learned how to write your name, letters, and numbers, so you frequently help me write lists of things that I need to get at the store.  You also learned how to swim under the water this summer, so you are quite the little fearless fish.  You will jump off of anything and swim, swim, swim.  If there is water around, you want to be in it.  You also completed your first triathlon and rode a horse for the first time, not just one of those horses in a circle but an actual big horse in lessons.  I keep going on and on about your firsts this year.  You also went to the fair for the first time and told me that your favorite things were the cows and the circle thing (Ferris wheel).  You were quite the dare devil and even went on the tilt-a-whirl and other big kid spin rides.

1st Day of School

Last Day of School

 

1st Triathlon

Most importantly. you became a big sister this year, and you are the best big sister a little brother could ever have.  Our little Merrick adores you, and I think you are his favorite person.  You like to help feed him bottles and food, hold him, and you try anything to get him to stop crying.  You share your blankies and little animals with him, and he loves to hear you sing.  You are also the only person that can get numerous belly laughs out of the little guy, and there is no better sound in the world than the two of you laughing.  You are not a jealous sister, which is great, but we do have to ask if it is a night that Merrick can join you for bedtime stories or not.  If you are around, Merrick looks for you as he loves you so much.  Your daddy and I are so proud of the wonderful big sister that you are.

1st Time Meeting Merrick

I come back again to how sweet you are.  You tell me frequently that you love me, daddy, Merrick, and Lucia "as high as the sky."  I love to hear that.  You also tell me routinely that my tummy is getting smaller (after having Merrick).  Even though the my tummy is stalled at it's current size, you make me feel good by telling me it is smaller even though I have a ways to go.  You are such a helper around the house, and your most favorite thing to help me with is cleaning windows.  Although, you do have a Tasmanian devil mode where you can get toys sprawled out all over the house, and you are not the most fond of picking them up.  You are quite opinionated about your outfits and come up with some very creative outfits.  Every morning is a negotiation with you.

 

 

You are a really good eater, and you absolutely love "white ice cream with no candy."  I think your favorite white ice cream is from Old McDonalds.  You are the best little girl that we could have ever asked for, and your dad and I are so happy that God chose us to have you.  We had the most wonderful year with you and cannot believe how much you have grown and matured.  We look forward to seeing all your wonderfulness in this next year. 

I love you to pieces,

Your momma

Merrick's Arrival

Before I had kids, I thought babies' arrival stories were very private to their mommas.  However, after I became pregnant, I discovered that women like to tell their baby arrival stories, myself included, and I love to hear them.  I just got to hear the beautiful story of how one of my closest friend's son made his arrival on Sunday morning, and it reminded me that I have not journaled Merrick's arrival yet like I had Laila's.  I am already starting to forget the details, so I figured I had better get it down.  Any of you who have no desire to know such story are forewarned to stop reading. :)  

As we all know how kids can have similarities but are usually completely different, Merrick's arrival had a few similarities to Laila's arrival but for the most part was totally different.  The whole going into labor part was identical to Laila.  On Sunday night, I was up from midnight to 6:00 a.m. with strong contractions every 10 minutes.  The contractions were enough to bother me and keep me up, but I knew they were not the real deal as I did not need to walk them out to deal with the pain.  I went to bed at 6:30 a.m. on Monday, and after being up all night, I let my firm know that I would be working from home.  

The contractions stopped for the most part.  However, I decided to make a trip into my doctor's office that afternoon just to check things out.  Although I was contracting, they were 10 minutes or so apart, and I guess they needed to be 6 minutes a part as a sign of active labor.  I was not dilated at all, so I figured I might still have a while yet as Merrick was not due for another 10 days.  I had the same experience with Laila with the contractions, but they were in the afternoon, and when I went to the doctor with her the afternoon before she was born, I was dilated to a whopping 1 cm.  

Well, Monday night (or I guess Tuesday morning) at about 2:30 a.m., I rolled over in bed and felt a huge gush.  I rolled back over and felt another big gush.  I was pretty sure my water had broken, so I got up and called Monroe Clinic.  Contractions had not really started yet, so I thought the nurse was going to tell me to stay home.  However, she asked me how long my last labor took, and when I told her 5 hours and 40 minutes, she got real quiet and then said it sounded like my water had broken, and I needed to get to the hospital in the next 2 hours.  

So, I got Chris up and started to get ready to leave.  As we were getting ready, the contractions started, and they were the real deal as I had to walk them out or pause what I was doing to let the contraction pass.  My parents came to pick up Laila, and off Chris and I went to the hospital.  Laila's arrival was similar as the night after my doctor's appointment where I showed little progress, my water started to leak at 2:00 a.m., and we went to the hospital where labor then started on its own.  

The car ride was not the most fun as I deal with pain by walking and moving, so being confined to a car was not my favorite.  Contractions were coming every 4 - 5 minutes, and I was definitely squirming in my seat.  When I got to the hospital, the nurse hooked me up to the non-stress test machine and confirmed I was indeed in labor, and it appeared that my water had broken.  

The nurse wanted to put an IV in me, but I resisted as I HATE IVs, and the plan was to have a totally natural birth like I did with Laila.  Yeah, best made plans.  The nurse had to contact my doctor to make sure the whole no IV thing was fine, and he was fine with it.  So, I continued to move around to walk out the contractions for awhile.  I was struggling though as usually when I am dealing with pain, I can go inside of myself to this zen place to deal with the pain.  I think I was just too worn out as I started the whole labor process exhausted (no sleep the two nights prior and then water broke around 2:30 a.m.), and I just could not get into that zen frame of mind.  I was gripping the table in the room, and the contractions were coming hard and fast.  I usually deal with the pain silently, but I admit I as breathing and moaning out the pain a bit (not screaming though).  Then the extreme heart burn that I had dealt with for a lot of my pregnancy was acting up, so I had to start taking medicine to keep the heart burn in check while I was laboring.  I am not going to paint a picture of strength; I was totally struggling.

I was wondering how I was going to continue through this labor and do the pushing, which is my least favorite part.  I kept asking God how I was going to get through this because I really did not know.  I told Chris that I was going to have the nurse check me, and if I was progressing, I would stick out the labor and not do the epidural.  Chris was trying to be encouraging that I could make it without the epidural, but I was starting to think otherwise.

The nurse checked me and told me that I was at a 6 - 7 cm dilated.  I guess that dilation is considered the transition period where the labor is the hardest, the potential to throw up is more likely, etc.  I decided to keep going as I was making progress.  I honestly do not know how long I labored from that point on as it felt like hours, but the heart burn hurt, I was feeling sick, the contractions were hard and 1 minute a part and or right away, I was sweating, and I just could not get to my zen place.  After I do not know how long, I decided to have the nurse check me again as I was ready to get the epidural if needed.  The same nurse checked me and said I was 5 cm dilated.  What the heck?  How could I go backwards? (I honestly think the nurse was new and inexperienced, although, very nice).  I was done after hearing that; epidural NOW please.  

So, the epidural was ordered.  Now I had to get an IV.  The nurse is trying to get the IV into my arm in between contractions, and she is having a hard time.  She put the needle in, wiggled it around, and could not get a vein.  I get the willies thinking about it.  She tried a couple of times.  Then another nurse comes in to try, and she could not do it either.  I think it took a third nurse and six pokes later for the IV to get in.  I was contracting, sweating, nauseous, feeling like I was going to faint, with horrible heart burn wondering how the heck I was going to survive.  The whole IV thing while I was contracting was probably one of the worse experiences I have had.  I do not care to ever repeat it. 

My good friend the anesthesiologist comes in to give me the epidural.  She was happy, upbeat, and direct, and I thought she was great.  I got the epidural, which was not horrible at all.  The pain from the epidural was just a little pinch and barely anything compared to the contraction pain.  One reason I was scared of an epidural was the thought of losing control of my legs freaked me out.  I guess Monroe gives an epidural where I could still feel my legs, which was great.  I could still move and feel my legs the whole time, but the contraction pain was gone.  It was awesome.  I was so tired, and so happy to be able to take a break from those contractions.  I think I got the epidural around 7:30 a.m.

An ever so lovely picture of me relieved and happy to be taking a break from the contractions. 

I then rested my eyes for a bit, and Chris got some rest too.  The poor guy got home from his MBA class around midnight, and then I woke him up at 2:30 a.m. to go have a baby.   Well, my body was stuck in that 7-8 cm dilation, known as the horrible transition period.  Boy was I happy that I got the epidural now.  My doctor wanted to give me some Pitocin to keep the labor going since I was stuck.  I very much did not want Pitocin, but at that point, I was too tired to really care about much.  There was a nurse change, and I now had a nurse, Amy, that ended up being my favorite nurse of my whole experience with Merrick.  It is always good to have that favorite nurse during the delivery. 

I got about 2ish hours of rest, and I was happy to keep going with the whole resting period as I was not looking forward to the pushing.  I did have to keep taking the heart burn medicine as that was really bothering me.  Well, a baby has to be born somehow, so I became 10 cm dilated and felt some pain and pressure.  I discovered that the epidural took the contraction pain away, but I definitely felt the pushing pain.  

I let everyone know that it was time to push, and the nurse was telling me not to push until the doctor came.  The heart burn was really churning, and I was pretty certain that I would be getting sick.  Chris was flipping out worried that I would have the baby before the doctor came.  Dr. Martin arrived, and I started my first push.  I kept telling myself I just had to get through the pushing and contraction and I would get a break as I remembered from having Laila that the pain subsides in between pushing contractions.  Well, the contraction ended, and the pain did not, so I flipped out on everyone.  They said I did not flip out, but I assure you that I flipped out.

I was flipping out saying it still hurt even though the contraction was over, it was not supposed to hurt at this point, why did it hurt, it did not hurt in between contractions last time, what is going on,  why is there not a break int he pain, etc.  My nurse Amy later told me that I looked at her with a "help me" expression on my face, and she felt horrible as there was nothing she could do.  Well, I was not going to mess around with this pain, so next contraction, I pushed Merrick out and was done thank heavens.  I did not get sick either, which was a huge plus.  The second Merrick was born, the heart burn stopped, which was such a relief.  

What happened right after Laila was born is a little fuzzy for me in my memory, so I really wanted to remember as best as I could this time round.  They put Merrick in a towel and immediately gave him to me.  I started talking to him, and he turned to look for me.  The moment is tattooed on my heart forever, and I will never forget it.  It will be one of the best moments of my life.

Nurse Amy then took Merrick over to the warmer for checking him, weighing him, etc.  Chris was so cute as he wanted to be with Merrick, but he also wanted to be with me for support, so he kept going back and forth. I guess whenever I talked, Merrick would look for me from the little warming cradle.  He has been my momma's boy from the start. :)  

This time round I only had a stage 2 cut (stage 3 with Laila), so I needed some stitching.  Chris and I are talking away with Dr. Martin while Merrick was getting cleaned up and wrapped up and I was getting stitched up.  After about a half hour, Dr. Martin said, so what is this little guy's name.  I asked Chris if our little guy looked like a Merrick, and Chris looked at me and said, "That's all we got for a name."  So Merrick it is.

Merrick was born at 9:53 a.m., so all-in-all, my labor was not that bad at being around 7 1/2 hours long.  Kudos to you women who push for hours and labor for hours.  I am not sure how you do it.  You are true superwomen.  

Despite the pain and the stress, having a baby or seeing your baby for the first time is one of life's best moments.  My heart just fills up thinking about the feelings of holding both my babies for the first time in really looking at them to see what their hair and eyes and nose and little mouth look like.  You wait so long wondering what these little babies will look like when they are born, and it is amazing and such a surprise every time.  I am still in awe of how a little baby with 10 little fingers, 10 little toes, finger nails, hair, eyelashes, etc. was made and carried in my belly.  I have never doubted that God exists, but the experience of growing and having a baby really solidifies God's existence for me. 

We are done having babies, so I am a little sad to never experience this moment again.  Pregnancy is hard, labor is hard, delivery is hard, but it is all worth it in that one minute that you get to hold your baby for the first time and take in all those little features.  I am so blessed to have been able to go through this experience twice.  Little Merrick has completed our family, and I would do the fertility, sometimes hard and uncomfortable pregnancy, and painful labor and delivery all over again if it meant that we could have him.  Merrick is definitely a keeper, even when he wakes up every hour and half some nights.

     

Merrick - 3 Months Old

Our little bubbers is 3 months old, and he is actually almost 4 months old at this point.  I realize I missed posting at 2 months old.  I am in that mother of multiple children phase where there are just not enough hours in the day, so I am a bit behind on multiple things such as this blog, Merrick's baby book, photo books, etc.  We are having a lot of fun this summer, so I am hoping to get a little more caught up this fall and winter.  The getting ready in the mornings, work, baths, supper, cleaning up, grocery shopping laundry, snuggle time,etc. seems to be eating up all of my time at this point.  Even though there are not enough hours in the day, I would not change a thing about life right now.  I am so thankful to have a firecracker of an almost 4 year old and a smiley, snugly baby taking up all my time.

Anyway, Merrick is growing as babies tend to do.  In between 2 and 3 months old, Merrick came out of having fussy times, and he is a really happy, content little guy.  The smiles started to come out, and he melts my heart every time.  Around 2 months old, Merrick started to smile in response to me.  I felt so special as it was hard for other people to get Merrick to smile, but he would always smile for me.  I do enjoy having a little momma's boy.  In the last few weeks, Merrick turned into a super happy, smiley guy, and he will really smile at anyone now.  

In the last week or two, Merrick also started giggling.  Baby giggles are one of the sweetest noises ever.  He giggles when I sing him "Zippedy Doo Da . . . " and when Chris makes his legs jog and then run.  I love it.  

It is hard to see changes in Merrick on a daily basis, but boy does he change a lot from month to month.  He is becoming more and more alert to things around him.

 

Merrick is not really holding toys at this point, but the little guy LOVES to hold, snuggle, and suck on little blankets.  It is a good thing that he received 2 taggy blankets and a soft, satin blanket as gifts.  He is also sucking on his fingers and drooling like crazy.  I keep wondering if there are teeth in there trying to come through, but that is not the case so far.  He is happy guy with his fingers and fist in his mouth and drool on his onsie.  

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Hi, I am little bubbers

In the last few weeks, we also started putting Merrick in his jumperoo, and he LOVES it.  In the last week or so, Merrick can really get a bouncing in his jumperoo.  Although, it really tuckers him out, and all of sudden, he is passed out cold sleeping.

I have really been enjoying Merrick as a little baby, and I am trying to cherish the time as I know how fast they grow up.  I am not sure how Laila got so big and mature.  I am trying to tattoo some of the precious moments in my brain to always remember.   One of those tattoos is sleepy time as there is just nothing more precious than a sleeping baby.